Shorts: Asymptote

This is a work of fiction... Any specific names of people, places, products, events, and organizations are just product of the author's imagination.

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"Yes Mr. De Guzman!" my Analytic Geometry professor called out.

"Ma'am..." I stood up and continued. "It is a line with a value that a curved line will approach but never obtain as it continues to infinity..."

"Yes! Very good!"

I saw her glanced back at me with a sweet smile just a few seconds after I sat back on my chair. And she... She was the loveliest goddess I ever graced my eyes on.

"Wow! Another easy +5 points for the next quiz!" she joked as we walked out of our room to head for the next subject.

"Haha! You know me and my study ethics..." I replied.

"Every bonus point is as important!" we said in unison and laughed.

"Where will we go for lunch?" she asked.

"We can go with any of the usual..." I replied. "Or we can check a place we've never tried out yet along the way..."

"Good enough for me..."

So our daily routine continued as usual. Having lunch together, then getting back in the campus to each of our classes.

I first met this goddess last semester. We were taking different courses but we ended up being classmates on two minor subjects. We were like two introverts who wouldn't want to talk to anyone. I would get in the class room and look for an empty seat on the last row, claim it, and just keep on listening to my rock songs through my headphones. She would get in, get a seat and then read a novel. Both of us will ony stop the moment our professor would get in.

We started talking to each other when our professor implemented a seat plan and she ended up being seated on the chair in front of mine. We would occassionally talk just to check if there was a homework due for the day. It was during those moments that I started noticing her beauty and charms.

But we actually became friends by the start of the midterms. Our professor wanted us to be grouped by pairs. A lot of guys tried to ask to be her to be their partner, but then she rejected them all.

"Sorry guys... But I've already paired up with him..." she said while pointing her hand to me.

"Aahhhh..." I saw her smiling with that look on her face as if telling me just say yes. So I did. "Yeah... We've... already paired up..."

She got up from her chair and transferred to the empty chair beside me. I felt stinging glances and stares from the guys she rejected.

"Sorry 'bout that..." she whispered. "And thank you!"

We grew closer by the finals. As questions and requirements raised their difficulty level, we spent more time to work on them. By the time finals have finished and we have successfully submitted our requirements, we agreed to have lunch together.

"Why did you pick me as partner?" I finally asked her. It was a question bugging me but I couldn't seem to dare ask her back then.

"I don't know..." she replied while munching her food. "I guess it's because I just feel comfortable being with you..."

Cliche. But I saw sincerity in her eyes. And then our friendship geared up to higher levels. Every passing day, we grew closer and closer to each other. She would make me pretend to be her boyfriend when some other guy would try to hit on her. And she would do the same for me although that rarely happened. Almost everyone around us mistook us as an actual couple. And we never even made any effort to deny it just to set things straight. We just agreed that it will be best to keep it that way.

Then came the first Valentines since we became friends.

"It's Valentines tomorrow!" she said while we were hanging out somewhere inside the campus.

"And?"

"You're not gonna date someone tomorrow?" she asked.

"Nope!" I quickly replied. "Probably just going to be me and my trusted right hand!"

It took her quite a while to get the joke.

"Eewww!" she yelled and started hitting me with a textbook. But she was laughing. "You pervert! You pervert!"

Then we continued laughing.

"How about you?" I asked.

"Well... I'm left-handed..." she replied.

And we both laughed again.

"Seriously, no date tomorrow?"

"Who would I date?" I jokingly replied. "I have nobody to date..."

A long dead silence followed that.

"Let's date tomorrow!" we both said at the same time.

"Jynx!" she followed up right-away. "Since everybody thinks we're a couple... Yeah, let's go out on a date tomorrow..."

"Alright..." I said. I was happy about that.

"Let's show them how it's done..." she added.

"Good enough for me..."

And so, that's how we started being each other's date every Valentines throughout our college student years. Then came our last days in school.

Graduation ball. We were supposed to be each other's date. But since we were from different courses, we were foced to be seated on different tables. We didn't paid that much attention for the actual programme. We were busy exchanging text messages with each other. But then the time I've been waiting for finally came.

The ball dance.

"Which table are you at?" I messaged her.

"Table 26"

So I studdied the venue, and set out to look for her. I saw her. She was with her batchmates. I was just a table away when a guy approached him and asked her for a dance.

"Aayyyiiiiiieeeeeeee..." her batchmates teased her.

I was about to turn around and walk away when I heard her response.

"Sorry... My date's going to be here soon... He might misunderstood..."

"Date?" the guy exclaimed. "C'mon... I've been watching you the whole night and I never saw you with any guy..."

"That's because he's from another department..." she replied back. "And he's about to be here..."

I saw her look around and then she saw me.

"There he is!" she said and then waved her hands to me. "He's finally here..."

I've never felt any happier in my life before that. It felt like I was the most handsome guy in the world. I can feel the guy's anger through his stare as I walked towards her. So I retaliated by sending him more pain.

"Dance?" I reached out my hands to her.

"Of course!" she replied with a sweet smile and held my hands.

So we left her table and we danced. We danced like we were the king and the queen of the night. We danced like we were the only fucking people in this whole fucking world.

"You're so pretty tonight..." I said while we were dancing.

"Oh thanks!" she replied and again, with that sweet killer smile. "It's probably my dress that made me pretty..."

I giggled. "No... It was actually your dress that became pretty because of you..."

She blushed. Yes! I just made her blush.

"Fine!" she replied, still smiling. "Gosh! I didn't know you're such a sweet talker..."

"Excuse me! There is a difference between a sweet talker and..." I replied and I stared deep into her eyes. "A guy who just can't stop expressing a very beautiful truth..."

She bit her lower lip. We were just staring at each other as our feet moved in unison to sway with the sweet music. It took a while for her to respond.

"Okay... I'm convinced that you're not a sweet talker..." she said while she kept her gaze on my eyes. "Women should be careful of you..."

"As if I plan on dating anyone anytime soon..." I replied. The next sentence that should have followed got locked up inside my head instead. As if I would want to date anyone other than you.

"No, seriously..." she replied. "Women should be careful of you..."

"And why is that?" I asked.

"Because you are simply good with choosing your words..." she replied. "With your words, you can make any woman's heart flutter..."

Another long moment passed as we just kept on staring at each other's eyes. Our feet still moving with the sweet music.

"Then... Did I just made your heart flutter?" I courageously asked.

She smiled. "You've al-"

A body slammed on my back. And then the crowd went to a frantic. It appeared that the guy asking her a while ago have changed his target. Being a dickhead himself, he tried hitting on another girl, right in front of her boyfriend. The dickhead is with his gang and so is the protective boyfriend. Thus a fist fight broke loose and the entire event just completely fell into chaos.

"That was crazy!" she said while panting.

"That guy was such a dick!" I replied while panting for air as well.

We actually ran off when the incident escalated. But, I landed a punch on the dickhead's face first before we ran off. And I'm not the only one. It appears that the dickhead and his gang were the resident dipshits of the school and people just got a free chance with that incident to vent out and earn themselves their well deserved free hits. We checked the time and we saw that it's too early to call it a night. So being of legal age, we didn't give a damn and looked for a place to get a drink.

We talked about our plans while drinking. What is in store for us once we got infused to the so called "real world". We exchanged goals and objectives. The moment we ran out of everything we could possibly talk about, she was already tipsy drunk.

I got us a taxi and dropped her to her home. It was not the first time that I met parents. Her parents had me stay for a while and offered me a mug of coffee. I apologized to her parents because she got drunk under my watch. They were chill about it saying we at least have a valid reason to celebrate and getting ourselves drunk. I was about to leave when her father asked me if I intend on dating their daughter.

"I honestly don't have an answer for that Tito... At least, not just yet... To be honest, I am enjoying what's in between me and her right now... I want to savor it first before I make a decission..."

They found my answer quite convincing. But the truth is, I really do. I really want to date their daughter. But I dont have the confidence to push for it. I don't feel like I deserve dating her. Not just yet.

I bid her parents my goodbye and they bid me a safe trip back home. The way her parents bid farewell made me felt that I have earned their trust and respect. I got home safe that night. And there was this question running in my head before I completely dozed off.

Should I have given them my more honest answer?

We remained friends after graduation. But because we both work on our own different fields, we started seeing each other less often. We could only manage to see each other at least once a week. But we still made sure that we make time for special occassions.

One Friday night, we decided to hang out after work. We had dinner. We then went to Baywalk. We walked while feeling the breeze from Manila Bay. We found a spot where we could just sit and talk some more while enjoying the night view of Manila Bay.

"You're still not into dating?" she asked.

"No... Haven't found someone worth dating yet..." I replied. Again, I couldn't stop myself from locking up things I want to say. Asides from you...

"You're so picky!" she teased.

"Shouldn't I?" I jokingly replied.

"Okay... Tell me what kind of woman you would want to date?"

"Whyyy?" I asked while laughing.

"So I could see if I can find one for you..." she replied then she started laughing.

"Okay..." I started to enumerate the kind of girl that I would like. "She's got to be simple... You know, not the kind of super fashionista..."

"Uh-uh" she replied. "Go on.."

"She should be fun to be with... Someone who have a good sense of humor..." I continued.

Then I started adding the things about her that I liked.

"Someone who reads book often, cause I'd rather talk about books than make-ups... Someone who would not hate me, or judge me at least, for the kind of music that I listen to... Someone who can enjoy being with me, even if we don't talk about anything else..."

I saw her smiling.

"Someone with a smile that can take away my stress just by seeing it..."

She was intently looking at me.

"Someone who will never grow tired of staring at me as I tell her different kind of things..."

I caught a glimpse of her lips as the slightly parted.

"And someone who have lips that will always invite me to kiss them..."

She was still just staring at me. And I kept my gaze fixed on her. I felt the urge to kiss her. But before I could even move my face towards her face, her phone rang.

"Hello 'Pa? Hah? Wait! I'll be there right away..."

"I got to go..." she said in a panic. "My mom just fainted again..."

Since I have a car, I offered her a ride which she accepted without hesitation. I drove as fast as I can without violating any traffic rules. When we got to her home, her mom was already conscious but still lying on bed. When everything seemed okay, I decided to leave and her dad walked me out.

"Sorry I interrupted your time with her." her dad said.

"No Tito, you shouldn't be apologizing..." I replied. "Family first before dates..."

"Oh! So you two were on a date?" he replied chuckling.

"Well... It's not really like that... It's more of like we just went out and hanged out..." I replied with a sad tone. "It's just like our usual hang-outs and catch-ups..."

"So you haven't told her yet how you trully feel for her?"

I didn't expected that question. I didn't expected it to come from him. The father of the girl I secretly like. The girl I secretly love.

"Just like you, I'm also in love with someone... Her mom that is..." he continued. "It takes one to know one..."

I didn't reply. I don't know what to reply.

"Listen son," he put his hands on my shoulder. "Whatever it is that's holding you back to totally commit... It's something you can only work out... But... You should at least tell her how you trully feel... You should at least tell her just how much she means to you..."

That was the first time her dad advised me. And the last time.

Just after a few months, her dad died of sudden heart attack. I couldn't bear seeing her broken and sad. I was there for her. I chose to be there for her. I made myself a pillar that she could lean on. Someone that can support her. I helped her get up and be okay again. Which she did, but only to fell back into sadness.

Her mom, who have a naturally weak heart followed her dad just a bit more than a year after. She was more devastated this time. More broken this time.

But I never wavered. I manned up. I made myself a much stronger pillar that can continue to support her. And I was successful. She was able to get back on her feet and continue to keep up with the world. The world that didn't even bothered to slow down for her when she needed it most.

We continued seeing each other. We continued hanging out with each other. We continued celebrating important dates with each other. We continued on, until one time, things didn't ended up the way they usually did.

We just finished having dinner together again and was back in our favorite spot in Baywalk. We were exchanging jokes when I noticed a necklace that she was wearing. It had a pendant, a heart. It was engraved with the first letter of her name, and another letter which is obviously not mine.

It was then that she confessed she's seeing someone. And she have been seeing him for about a month now.

My world collapsed. I was filled with anger.

"What's the matter with you?" she asked.

"What's the matter with me?" I replied back. "You never even mentioned him to me!"

"You never even told me anything before he tried to court you!" I added.

"Should I have?"

"Yes! You should have! What happened to our agreement that we will be pretend-lovers when someone tries to hit on us? What happened to that?"

"Does that even apply if I like the person?"

"So you like him huh?"

"Yes I do... That why I agreed on being his girlfriend..."

"You like him more than me?" I asked out of desperation. I looked at her, straight at her eyes. "Do you like him more than you like me?"

It took her a while to reply. A reply that didn't answered my question.

"I'm sorry for not telling you... But let's talk about this after we've cooled down. When we can talk again without screaming at each other... Just tell me when you're okay for it..."

And she walked away. I just stood there watching her walk away.

My next days came with new daily routine. I would end up getting at least three bottles of beer after getting home from work. I don't want to freaking cry. I thought beer would help me sleep faster without crying. But that was a fucked-up illusion. Yes the alcohol made it easier for me to sleep. But it couldn't stop me from crying. I couldn't stop crying while downing my three bottles worth of beer every single fucking day.

It was after 2 months that I became better again. It is when I decided to face her again. I grabbed my phone to send her a message. But it turned out that she sent me a text first. So I read it.

I like him more than I like you... It is because I love you more than I love him... At first it was okay. But then after a while, my heart started hurting. My heart hurts while I'm waiting for you. My heart hurts because I'm not even sure if I should be waiting for you...

This will probably be the last time I will wait for you... I have a flight by 6:00 pm... NAIA Terminal 1... A flight to Canada... He flew a week ahead... He knows how I truly feel for you... He said he'd wait for me to make up my mind... He'll respect whatever is going to happen onwards... Until my flight, I will wait for you to stop me...

A sudden rush of adrenaline swept throughout my body. I tried to call her, but its not connecting. I checked the clock and it read 3:48 pm. She must have already turned off her phone. I grabbed my jacket and headed out. I pushed the elevator button but its not lighting up.

Fuck it! Rotational black outs! Floor by floor, I ran down the stairs. 16 floors plus 2 basement levels, I speed ran the stairs. Got on my car and headed out. I was not even that far when heavy traffic loomed ahead of me. Rotational black out and heavy traffic. It was at this moment that I thought the universe is interfering.

"Fuck you universe!" I exclaimed. "I will fight back at you!"

So I navigated around finding alternative routes. I fought my way to get to her as fast as I can. So I can tell her how much I love her and ask her to stay. My efforts eventually paid of. Finally after 2 hours, I was at NAIA. I got out of my car and hurried to Terminal 1. Panting for air, I continued on and started to look for her.

I am now an Engineer and I also teach Engineering classes. Asides from that, I also tutor students for their math subjects for free during my vacant time.

"Alright... Anyone here knows what this line is in relation to this line?" I asked a dozen of students that I tutor for free inside a room.

A girl raised her hand.

"Yes Monica?" I called out the pretty young lady.

"Sir... It's called an asymptote..." she replied.

"Yes! Very good! Anybody here that can explain why it's called an asymptote?"

Monica raised her hand again. But since she already answered, I waited for anybody else to raise their hand. Everybody looked hesitant so I thought of letting Monica answer it again. As I was about to call her out, a guy raised his hand.

"Yes Nico?"

"Sir it is because that line will never intersect with that other line... That other curved line will just get closer and closer to it but they will never really intersect..." Nico explained.

"Yes! Very good!" I remarked.

"Aaawww!" a young girl named Janice reacted. "Monica is like Nico's asymptote... Getting closer and closer but not really intersecting!"

Everybody laughed at Janice's joke. I saw Monica blushed. I forced a smile.

"Just wait and see!" Nico retaliated.

"Whooo... You can't even ask her out on a formal date!" Janice teasingly replied back.

I decided to join in. As anyone could tell, I call my students by their first names. This is my way of letting them know and feel that I, asides from being their professor, am also their friend.

"Guys... If you really like someone..." I started and I immediately got everyones undivided attention. "You shouldn't hold back..."

I started walking towards Nico.

"If you feel like you're not good enough for that person yet..." I stopped and grabbed a vacant chair. "That's okay... There's nothing wrong about that... We all just want to be deserving for that person... It's natural to want it that way..."

I turned the chair around and sat on it facing Nico. Our eyes are now on equal level. This is my way of making him feel that I am now currently not a professor, but rather a concerned friend.

"Bro... You should at least tell her your feelings..."

My gaze temporarilly fell towards the floor in front of me, then I forced out a heavy sigh.

"That way..." I continued as I set my gaze in level again with Nico's eyes. "If in any case the freaking universe tries to interfere... At least she knows that you're on your way to her..."

I switched my gaze towards Monica. "And knowing that... Maybe she'll choose to wait much longer than she could... and more than she already have..."

It was a hard advice for me to give. As it was painful for me to say every single word. But these kids are not just my students. They are also my friends. And my friends deserve to learn from the lesson on where I tragically failed.

(End)

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Author's afterwords

A couple of minutes before I started writting/drafting this "shorts", the word asymptote suddenly popped up in my head. As in out-of-the-blue, it just popped up inside my head.

I remembered that the first time I encountered it was way back during my high-school math class. Back then it was just an ordinary word. Something to keep on mind for the mean time until I get to pass my grades. Which I did so I flushed it off and forgot about it.

But (just like in the story,) it was in my college Analytic Geometry class when I encountered it again. It was then when its definition got stuck in my head, and it became something my mind can no longer un-remember. It was then that I started hating it. I hated the word, because I hated its definition even more.

Asymptote - A line with a value that a curved line will approach closer and closer but will never intersect as they both continue to infinity.

Being a hopeless romantic myself back then (until now haha), I thought: Well, that sucks! If those two lines were lives of two people... then yeah, that definitely fucking sucks!

You meet someone... You get closer and closer... You fell for that person... And again, you get closer and closer... But no matter how close the two of you get... That person will never be yours... Not even at least once...

That for me is tragic. It's way so very tragic. It's as if the whole universe is making a joke out of you, toying with your emotions.

Just when I finished writting the initial draft for this story, it made me think...

Have I already met my asymptote?

Or have I, (without noticing it myself,) already became someone else's asymptote?

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Thank you readers... 'til next time..

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