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E.03: Sexchat

7 minutes
1999. I just turned 16 when I entered college. Got admitted sa dream university ko mula nung bata pa ako, na kahit ayoko ng course ko na ipinilit lang sakin ng overly-authoritative kong tiger mom, ok na din. Basta I was so excited to go to college, makakaranas nako kahit papano ng konting freedom.

College. New place, new faces, new experiences. Everyday, my dad would drop me off sa university and then ako na magcocommute pauwi after class. For a while, sa transition to college life nafocus ang attention ko but that didn't stop my curiosity about sex. I was still moving forward with my 'research' and I was about to discover something new… chatting.

Classmates ko nagturo sakin magchat, kung saang sites at platforms pwede like mIRC, ICQ, YM, etc. saka mga common chat terms like CTC and ASL. I was so thrilled! Tuwang-tuwa ako sa thought na madami kang makakausap na tao from everywhere. Ang sarap makipag-usap sa strangers kasi you can ask them anything and hindi mo kailangan mahiya di ba, di ka naman nila kilala eh. More resource persons for my, uhm, research, but not just that naman, for friendships na din. Kaya ayun, nawili ako, everyday basta may free time, definitely magchachat ako. Little did I know na sa chat pala mag-uugat ang lahat.

I've chatted with people of all age, gender, nationality, marital status. That time, wala ata kaming webcam or hindi pa uso, and hindi pa basta-basta makapagsend ng pics. Papa-scan mo pa yung hard copies tapos palitan kayo ng email para masend nyo as attachment. I was so nave pa nuon, di ko pa naiisip yung mga security risks, kaya lahat ng tanungin na info sakin, binibigay ko naman. Pag may nag-ask ng photo, nagsesend ako kagad. Madaming nagrerequest ng meet-ups pero dun ako medyo wary pa that time kaya hanggang chat lang muna ako non.

I prefer chatting with older people since they are more experienced in life, mas madami sila masheshare, mas madami kong natututunan sa kanila. Most of my regular chatmates are older than me. I remember I had an online Ate and I would ask her a ton of questions about her sex life with her boyfriend. She was very accommodating 'cause she found my curiosity amusing. She advised me to always be cautious in exploring my sexuality, not to rush and just wait for the right moment. An advise that I did not heed.

So ayun, chat-chat, kwentuhan, kulitan. Sex was always one of the favorite topics, kahit saan naman ata di ba, kahit ngayon sa FSS chatroom. Wala, likas talagang malilibog ang mga tao I guess.

I preferred group chat sa kesa makipag-PM, kasi mas masaya, magulo, madami kayong nakakapagpalitan ng views, pero minsan ok din naman in private. One time, I got a PM. "SOC?" asked the guy. I didn't know what he meant so I had to ask him pa what that means. Sex On Chat, or simply sexchat.

Huh? So magpepretend na nagsesex habang nagchachat? Ano kaya yun, parang ang corny. The idea wasn't appealing to me at first so what he did was, he invited another female chatter into our room so they could demo for me, game din naman yung girl. Ayun, first time ko nakawitness ng ganong conversation. Parang they imagine na they're together and then ninanarrate nila kung ano ginagawa nila sa isa't isa. Kung paano nakapwesto, ano'ng ginagawa, pano sila magrereact, ano nafifeel, sinasabi, even pati mga ungol. Kumpleto eh, from foreplay, to penetration, until they cum. It's like you watched porn in words, ang galing. I enjoyed that lesson so much, nakakakiliti ng utak imaginin yung nababasa mo.

Whew! In fairness tinablan ako haha I asked them what's the point of SOC, do they masturbate while typing? Sabi nila it's up to the chatter. Pwede daw sabayan or pwede ring for fun lang, pampainit. Yung iba daw pwedeng katabi nila yung partner nila and seeing the other engaging in virtual sex with a stranger turns them on.

So dun nagstart, I gave it a try. Syempre at first feeling ko I was so lame, but practice makes perfect and let's just say na nagpakadalubhasa talaga ako sa SOC non haha It gave me immense pleasure na although I was still a virgin, natutulungan ko yung kausap ko na makaraos. I would get really wet everytime pero I didn't touch myself, I prefer typing with two hands. Two clean hands haha Then later on, aalalahanin ko na lang yung conversation while I play with myself.

Second sem, my pager and analog cellphone got replaced by my first gsm phone, a Nokia 6150. So from chatmates, naging textmates ko na din yung ibang online friends ko. Wala pang eload nun, scratch cards lang, at binabudgetan ko talaga ang load nun from my allowance.

Sa mga nakakatext ko, one time may nagbiro ng SOT daw. Ahh this time alam ko na, Sex On Text. So SOC lang din kaya lang instead na asa PC ka, sa cellphone ka magtatype. Medyo challenging sa liit ng keypad pero yakang-yaka *pulls sleeves, cracks knuckles* Minsan nga kahit nasa class ako, kahit one hand lang, kahit nasa loob ng bag ko ang phone at minimal lang ang glances, natutuloy ko pa din.

Through SOC and SOT, feeling ko nakakapag-internship ako sa sex. It's not the real thing but at least madami kong natututunan sa mga nakakausap ko which I intend to apply later on. For the time being eh paganahin na muna ang wild imagination.

Dami kong natatanggap sa email non na dick pics. May mga lalake talagang ganon ang trip noh? Minsan magla-log ka sa email mo, expecting an important transcript of a lesson from your classmate, ang makikita mo, picture ng tite. Ugh. Puro naman ganon. Kelan kaya ako makakakita ng real dick, in the flesh.

And it happened. For the first time eh nakakita ako ng titi. Hubad na hubad, sa harap ko mismo. At hindi lang isa, ang dami! Dicks of all shapes, sizes, and colors. Merong mahaba, hanggang tuhod na halos, pumapagpag habang nagtatatakbo at tumatalon-talon yung guy. Meron ding maliit na nga ang kapal pa ng buhok, halos di mo na makita sa lago haha Buti na lang may class kami that day, nawitness namin yung run. Yung ibang girls tilian ng tilian, nakatakip kunwari hands sa mata, may space naman ang daliri, while I was just laughing with my friends, aliw na aliw na nanonood. But in my mind, ahhh ganon pala itsura, I wonder alin kaya don ang laki ng makakauna sakin?

I felt like a little slut sa mga naiisip ko at that time. Minsan I wonder kung normal lang ba yun, yung mga kaklase ko ba eh ganon din mag-isip, or is it just me?

Natapos ang first year ko in college na regular pa naman ako, though montik ako sumabit in two subjects, I had to take removal exams pa makakuha lang ng flat tres. Di na nakakapagtaka, di naman ako nag-aaral talaga eh. Pumapasok na lang ako, nagsawa na ko mag-aral hanggang highschool, ngayon ayoko na. Kahit nagkaklase, may katext ako. Pag wala ang prof, mall kami ng mga friends ko imbis na umuwi. Kahit finals, nakapalibot man ang mga nakabuklat na libro ko sa computer table, pero kunwari lang na nag-aaral. Akala nila nagpupuyat ako at nagsusunog ng kilay kakareview, but no, nakikipagchat lang ako nun. Nakikipaglandian lang ako magdamag. Nakikipaglibugan lang ako. Para bang pagrerebelde ko siguro since ayoko naman ng kurso ko saka dahil nga sa sobrang higpit nila. Akala nila I'm still the same innocent daughter pero mali sila, maling mali. Ewan, basta parang gusto ko sirain ang sarili ko non, gusto ko magwala, at wala silang kaalam-alam.

Patindi ng patindi ang desires ko dahil sa mga natutunan ko kakaSOC. Hanggat natututo ako, the more I get curious, the more na gusto ko ma-experience. I turned 17 that summer, ito na kaya ang panahon na mararanasan ko na ang noon ko pa gusto maranasan?
Posted in: First Time