Stuff that makes a reunion a no-go. (And so it begins)

The flashbacks were real. The whole ordeal wasn't.
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We went back to our friends. They teased, naturally. The girl that he courted was quick to remind him, "Oy, J---, may asawa na yan ha!" His face changed into a grimace and frowned, I almost heard him mutter, "ayus ah..." It was an off joke. A very off joke. I didn't expect it to come out of her but I felt tension. She was sort of jealous.
"Ganun ba yun..." he said, shaking his head. Previously courted girl realised what she just said and got up and asked to be excused to go the ladies room.

This time he pulled a chair and motioned me to sit beside him. SUCCESS!!! Our friends looked at me funny but no one dared tease us. He already gave the face earlier. But heck the btiches were giggling. I felt like smiling too because I was giddy. Insects somersaulting in my stomach. I felt like a fucking college kid again. I composed myself. I'm not the one who's gonna ruin this, I told myself. We continued talking as if it was just yesterday that we hung out then decided to have beer again the next day. Our topics were mostly about books, the society, films, our jobs, my family. He asked me about my husband. He was curious to know how I met him, how he became my "syota", how we got married. Our other friends knew about that story so the story telling was just his alone. And his reactions were unexpected.

"Online romance pala kayo eh." he teased.

"Hindi ah. Platonic ang relasyon naming bilang magkaibigan nuong una. Sya nagkagusto nung una pero ako later pa." I was laughing at this point because I wanted to blurt out that he was the reason I didn't learn to like my then-friend-turned-bf-now-husband right away.

"Gano kayo katagal magkaibigan?"

"Matagal. High school pa ko nung nagka-chat kami. Sinubukan nya ko ligawan nung college kaso ewan ko"

"Dahil tomboy ka 'nung college?" he asked, still teasing.

"Ganun ba talaga dating ko nung college tayo?"

"Medyo. Dahil nga siguro alam ko femenista ka. Pero di naman talaga. Pa-girl ka pa rin naman" With that he laughed. "Sana nga mas naging pa-girl ka pa nuon." Stunning statement number one. So if I were more pa-girl would he have done something?

I remember back in college, I joined a cultural organization in which he was also a member. I was auditioning in the choral group but I was nervous and apprehensive. So he told me to get my act together saying, "para magkasama na tayo". That really made me catatonic for a couple of minutes. I tried to fathom the statement that he said. I figured later on that he may have had toyed with the idea of us together. And we were together a lot. In the library, in a book shop, in a cinema, in State U looking for books. I really wish I was bolder before. But anyways...

"Eh sana nga eh." I said. I tried teasing him, "Kung naging pa-girl pa ako nuon, paano?"
He didn't reply right away. He was calculating his answer, looking at me, grinning. "Edi mas maganda!"
"Sorry about your patriarchal portrayal of a female, J---. I wasn't about to subscribe to that." I told him chuckling. On my peripheral vision, the others were whispering among themselves. I didn't care.
"So why do you look so...womanly now?" Stunning question number two. He said that looking at me from my head to my chest to my legs to my face again. WTF, this is exactly what I want. I was wearing a pair of slim fit cargo pants but my top was an unbuttoned flannel shirt with a lose tank top inside. Not pa-sexy, pero paboso ng konti. A bit of a tease. I could see him peering down at times. We were sitting side by side but facing each other a bit. My legs were crossed so one of my legs was lifted a bit touching one of his legs.
"Well, being a feminist doesn't mean you can't look good. I want to look nice for myself and my husband." I told him. Then I paused. He was looking at me, grinning triumphantly. Defeated I said, "So yeah, oo na. I subscribe to your patriarchal portrayal of a female na...dammit. Happy?"
He laughed, the sexy kind of laugh (I think). This was Stunning gesture number three.
"Of course! Sinong hindi matutuwa? Life's better with a nice view." he replied, with a lingering look, I told myself calm down. I already wanted to throw myself at him. But no. I want him to do the throwing himself at me.
I gave him a "Weeeeell" kind of look and motioned my hands and laughed. Damn, this night is going somewhere, I thought to myself.

The others announced that it may be time to go home. We still had a few bottles of beer and J-- didn't want them to be wasted. "Uy, ubusin natin 'to." he told them. It was the bucket that I bought.
The gay guys said "Shet, chong, dami na eh. Ang figures!" But they took a bottle each. "Para sa'yo, J----, basta yung promise mo ha." With that J--- stood up and went to one of the gays and gave him a hug. He was more than tipsy.

"Oks talaga 'tong gabing 'to, mga chong." He told us.

"Wag ka naman mamaalam" one of the girls kidded. He did sound like he was saying his goodbye.

"S---, naman!" He was guffawing but suddenly composed himself. "Shet, uuwi pa ko. Di ako pwede ganito." I wanted to tell him, tara uwi na lang kita, but then I remembered I have a husband and a kid waiting for me.

"Let's get coffee!" another one of the girls announced. We all had to ease our tipsiness. Most of us still had a long way to go and it wasn't safe to go home inebriated.

"Mga chong, pang 3-in-1 lang ako eh." he announced.

"Wag ka nang maano. Ako bahala sa 'yo," one of the gay guys said and threw his arm around J--. It was a funny sight. Besides the fact that hew was quite tipsy, he was just enjoying the company, our company. I was glad with how he changed. And then we all marched off to Ar---- to get overpriced coffee

I felt that he didn't want to go home yet. He was very chatty. He was talking and listening to everyone. I wanted to stay but my husband has asked me what time I'd go home. He wasn't asking to go home but out of my respect to him I wanted to go home already. My husband, such a cool guy.

The final invitation to go home came. It came from the girl he courted. Finally, everyone agreed. We walked the others, who were heading towards Manila, to the taxi bay. We said our goodbyes and besos. Told each other to keep in touch. The girl J--- courted suddenly asked him, "Di ka ba pa-Manila?"
He struggled for a reason. I knew that time that he lives somewhere in Ma--- because that's where his work is located. But he was not going south. Instead, he said. "Punta ko sa kabarkada ko." She casted a meaningful look but seemed that she controlled herself from saying more. "Okay. Ingat kayo ha." she finally said and went inside the taxi.

One of the girls live in the same area as I so naturally, I will carpool with her. We were walking towards the parking lot this time. She and the other gay guys were busily chatting. J--- and I were at the rear.
"A---, nga pala, "he started, "kunin ko number mo para pag may jam text kita para malaman ko availability mo" This is very, very, very good. I tap myself on my back in mind. I gave it to him and he gave my phone a ring. "I'll call you." he said with a grin. A bit slyly it seemed. But maybe it was just the alcohol. Or maybe the moon? "Sure" I told him, trying to be as cool and nonchalant as possible. I was wishing the night won't end yet. Or that if it would end I would end up still hanging out with him 'til morning. But of course, that wasn't about to happen. Maybe never. Maybe it shouldn't.

It was a bit too quiet so I decided to break it by asking where he'd still be going. "Ikaw san ka ba? Pauwi na?" I was suprised with the return of the question. Stunning sharing of information number four.

"Uwi na 'ko kasabay ni M--. Sa tawid lang ako ng highway eh."

"Ah, onga pala 'no. Alam mo may mga kamag-anak ako sa Ca---"

I know, I wanted to say. I stalk your Facebook, I know you lost relatives who lived there.

"Ah talaga? So pumupunta ka pala sa amin" I didn't mean to say this but I felt that I was goading him.

"Dun ka lang pala nakatira, di mo man lang nakwento."

"Wow, parang ngayon na lang tayo ulit nagkita di ba?"

He was quiet. He smiled at me. "Eh, ayan, may number mo na 'ko. Kita tayo pag libre ka."
WTF. FML.